Morning Coffee #29: Had-I-Known, Could-Never-Be-Me, and other stories

A teenage boy who had a knack for cracking jokes about gay people tried to have sex with another boy one night during a sleepover. The other boy was clearly gay and when he refused and threatened to tell everyone the boy was gay, the teenager wept like a baby and just like that, he stopped making fun of homosexuals.

The fun part of life is that the thing you most despise and condemn is somewhere deep inside you and when the opportunity is presented (and it will), you will mostly indulge it and begin to feel guilt wear you down. Being judgmental is indeed like wearing a blindfold and calling people blind.

Miyamoto Musashi said something along the lines of “see things close to you from a distance and things far away as though they are close to you”. It is one principle that seems so easy in theory but very difficult to apply.

Extreme criticism of men or women might be a sign that there are several flaws you possess and you instead project them onto others.

You only fear heights because you focus more on the fall than staying steady.

Call someone a fool multiple times and then feign surprise when he calls you a fool too.

Harsh reality: Money isn’t going to magically appear in your bank account. You have to give something to receive.

Some years later, that teenage boy grew to be a young man who condemned any form of rape and sexual harassment. One night after drinking and having fun, he raped a close friend of his. As she sobbed on the bed he did not feel any remorse until she brought out her phone and he saw the Twitter background. He began to weep and beg her not to tell anyone about it. She agreed not to tell anyone but she said she would never speak to him again. After that day, he stopped condemning rape and sexual harassment. He became a feminist. Unfortunately, the girl didn’t keep to her word and told everyone what he did. Out of shame and guilt, he killed himself.

I should have started this with context. The boy grew up in a very strict and religious household and unconsciously learnt judgment and self-righteousness.